How relationships change after having children – by Jermaine Smith
Before we had children weekends were made of getting up whenever we wanted and having an easy relaxing time. Sometimes with a hangover. Often we would have breakfast at the local cafe in the morning and think what should we do that day.
Wow, those were the days. My weekends now are made up of our son sleeping in our bed snoring like a hippo, and our daughter waking up at 6:00/30. No matter what time she goes to bed she gets up at this ridiculous time! Oh how I used to love sleep.
I say to my daughter every weekend; ‘When you are a teenager and you love your bed I’m going to wake you up early every day with a wet cloth’! I’m only half joking as this early morning wake up stuff is wild.
To be fair my wife is a better early riser than me and I’m good at pretending to be asleep. Come on, us with kids know this trick.
What our weekends look like now
Weekends are now spent with swimming lessons, endless kids parties in loud and mad places, food shops and constant random errands. No time for me to do anything for myself like going out to shop for hub caps or play video games in my pants.
When the kids were younger, we tried going out for a nice family meal like you see in the movies. Did not happen. They do not sit still long enough and when they do order the food, they often do not eat it or they decide to run around and around the restaurant. To sum it up, my daughter was given the chance to go for a meal wherever she wanted and she chose McDonalds. I had to ask her if she was sure and she said yes, asking her brother to reinforce this decision.
From a child’s perspective sometimes I think we as parents over-complicate things and set the bar too high. They like the simple life.
Then there is the issue of getting intimate. Truth is you are both tired a lot so you have to take it when you can get it, often at speed before some little dude shouts MUMMY.
What I would say though is that while life before kids was easier, having children is the best thing that has happened to me. It has made me slow down and see things from a different perspective. Being a parent has definitely made me less selfish, more considerate and just generally smarter! My social circle has changed slightly; we now do play dates with mates. I still fit in the occasional lad night out but skip the booze as the kids will be jumping on my head in the morning.
With my partner we talk about things and laugh at how life used to be. We try and do little things to keep the spark alive. Usually the £10 M&S meal deal and an early night. We know how to live!
By Jermaine Smith